Trafir stumbled out of bed, her hair knotted and messy, and her eyes red and puffy. It had been another attempt of falling asleep gone wrong; her mind flooded with endless memories, and above all, the never-ending heartache and grief. Lightning crackled outside her tall bedroom window as rain poured down against the shingles of the house. She wiped her wet face in the darkness of her room, sniffling a little as she wondered why she had been given this long, lonely life. With heavy, shuffled footsteps, she took a seat near her bookshelf, sitting on the window ledge as she carefully took a book from one of the shelves. She didn’t need a light to know where to grasp, as her fingers had become all too accustomed to reaching for the tome.
She opened the book, running her fingers across the worn pages, which were full of aged photographs, probably over hundreds of years old. The only thing that seemed to keep them held together was the grief of Trafir’s heart. She smiled as she caressed one of the photos, which showed her next to a curly dark-haired woman, the two of them smiling while eating toast together.
She turned the worn page again, to see another photo of the same curly-haired woman from before, only now wearing a white and gold dress, flowers tousled throughout her hair. She was holding a bouquet, and her expression seemed both nervous and excited all at once. Trafir’s hand covered her mouth as she choked on her own sobs, a few tears cascading down her face and staining the yellowish pages of the photo album.
With shaking hands, she set the book down on her lap and opened a box of matches, grabbing a particularly well-used scented candle as she struck the match on the side of the box. Watching it catch aflame, she couldn’t hold back the tears as she lit the candle, the smell inflaming her nostrils with memories and feelings she had tried so hard to forget after all of this time. Lightning struck again, followed with the clap of thunder that muted her sobbing, her hands covering her face as she blamed herself for so many things.
Memories filled her head of the same woman; her hair rustling in the wind as she laughed with crinkled eyes. The look she would give when she didn’t get her way, her bottom lip pouting outwards. The way she constantly worried if she had too many white hairs showing. The warm caress of her palm against Trafir’s cheek. All of it. Seemingly gone in an instant. It had been so long, and yet nothing had changed.
Her hands trembled as she reached for a pen and opened the photo album to the last page, which showed the curly-haired woman -- now much older -- sleeping peacefully amongst flowers forever. Trafir’s body racked with sobs as she began writing down everything. The way her hand felt. They way her eyes shined. How her hair smelled when it flew in her face on accident. How her laugh sounded when you told her a bad joke. And how she wished she could’ve gotten there sooner when the doctor called. How she wished she could’ve held her hand one last time. Hear her weak words one last time. Just see her one last time.
The candle’s flame flickered as the pen fell from her shaky hands and clattered onto the old wooden floorboards of her home, the album and letter descending after it, falling to the floor as photos spilled everywhere beneath her feet, only reminding her of how much she wished she could turn back time and wake up on that old ship all over again.
Rain poured down, striking the window every now and then as thunder clapped again, shaking the home with its violent racket.
Her head fell into her hands as her soul ached with loss and loneliness. Slowly, she leaned back, wanting to rest for a second, until he eventually laid down, her back hitting the rocks and mud of her yard, beads of water dampening her skin just as her tears had. It was cool, refreshing even, and for once she felt like she could actually sleep. Her eyes closed as the tears ceased, and she even gave a weak smile as she felt herself fall into a deep sleep. She heard a shout for help in the distance, but it wouldn’t matter now. Even the open hatch on her window didn’t bother her anymore, it didn’t matter now as she drew her last breath.
She woke up to a familiar woman in her bedroom, who upon seeing her embraced her tightly, crying into her shoulder despite her smiling face. Trafir finally felt at peace as she hugged the woman tightly back, running a hand through her hair, caressing her face -- doing everything she wished she had done all those years ago. But it didn’t matter now as she took the woman’s hands in her own, for now they had all the time in the world. She kissed the woman gently, a small tear cascading down her face as the woman held her tightly, whispering how much she loved her and giving a weak laugh. “Welcome back, my dear.”
Taking the woman’s hand in her own, she let her take her wherever she wanted, eager to live out another eternity with her love beside her. This had been all she had ever wanted in life. For the first time in centuries, she smiled. A genuine, happy smile. Another day with her, after a century of pain without so much as a goodbye.
Haunted by You
Michaela Litton